dear mr. driver

Dear Mr. Driver,

You almost hit me this morning. Yes, it's true! I'm not lying. You seriously almost hit me. I know. I'm just as surprised as you; like when you FINALLY looked my way. I was one brake pad away from kissing the right side of your bumper. I mean, if we were filming a cool action scene in a movie that involved a near-fatal car crash, we would have won an award for our crazy skills. But since we were not filming a movie and were not looking to get in a an accident, I do want to share a secret with you that us drivers know universally: it is really hard to make a left hand turn when you are looking right. I know that Michael Jordan makes it look easy -- like in those McD's commercials with Michael Jackson; he looks left but throws right. PSYCHE! Yeah, totally throws you off. In the basketball world it works wonders -- not so much when you are driving.

Don't get me wrong -- I did try to get your attention. I really did try. I was honking and honking and HONKING. I really did want you to look at me. All those students walking up the hill can be a bit of a distraction. I understand. This may be your first year at the uni and you were just trying to look cool in your Mazda SUV. I know how it goes. It's hard to make your mark when you are just a little fish in such a large dating pool. It is rough. But please, please, I beg of you...for the sake of saving face and not looking like an idiot (like you did this morning) and for the sake of us defensive drivers who do not want to aggravate your insurance company, keep your eyes on the road.